“My abusive language is alchemized through 40 kg copper, 25 kg of zinc, 15 kg of nickel, 5 kg of ice that keeps my cool, and 97 kg of spite.”
“I don't think much of you for sending a girl your age to the place where a wierd man lives.”
“If I fail to make my every-minute reports, a gang of 5,000 brutes will attack your whole family.”
“You're all grown up, so you won't feel dirty looking at my body, right?”
“No one's gonna save me. People just accept help selfishly, for their own sake.”
“By the way, Araragi-kun... I've never broken up with a man before. Hence, I won't be breaking up with you either.”
“Idiot! Don't spit while you talk! Your virginity might be contagious!”
“Don't move. Oh, my bad. I mean, you can move if you want, but it'd be very dangerous.”
“I told you, anything is OK, like saying you want me to end all my sentences with "nyu" for a week. Or that you want me to not wear underwear to school for a week. Or that you want me to wake you up every morning for a week, wearing nothing but an apron.”
“You've got nice solid childbearing hips, so I think you're sure to have healthy babies. Uwehehehe”
“Even crabs have to go on a journey sometime.”
“There stood a high school boy, who for selfish reasons had twice beaten an elementary school girl unconscious, and had gotten all nihistically worked up about it. Actually, that's still me.”
“If I kill you, that means I'll be the one closest to you when you're on your deathbed. Isn't it romantic?”
“If I may suggest, I recommend my waking you up every morning wearing nothing but an apron. Then I can cook you breakfast. Isn't it a man's fantasy to watch that from behind?”